Well I am going to start by saying that GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!
But it is time for me to just speak my mind in this blog...........

Natianna died.......
as I told in an earlier blog
Natianna was at a party were she was beatin and then wrapped in a blanket and then they people set the blanket on fire with her in it.
She was in the hospital for probably a good month.
She suffered 3dr degree burns over 30% of her body.
She died as a result of her burns.
I can't even imagine the pain she indured when she was burning.
I don't know if Natianna ever really excepted Christ in her life but I know that she is not with God.
It hurts to know that I never was able to help her much!
I let her stay a few nights at my old place.
I gave her some food and let her shower a few time
But I could never help her out with money or help her out by letting her live at my place.
Natianna A. Cruz you will forever be remembered and never forgotten by me and nobody around me will forget your name!!!!

Now moving on to other things.
I am having a dissagreement with a friends and it is sucking the life right out of me not to look hurt.
The pain I have been going through is almost feeling as if drowning would be better then this!
AND I just want to get one thing straight with this person.........
I DO NOT CUT MY WRIST OR GET DRUNK TO HELP MY DEPRESSION AND I NEVER ONCE SAID THAT MY DEPRESSION WAS IN ANYWAY WORSE OR LESS THAN YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go ahead and be mad that I just said that I just want to tell you because I feel like it was nessaccary.
I know your only human and I have tried to be a friend
but you ignore me and you give me funny looks and I don't want to deal with that.........if I did I would just go to my mothers house!
Honestly if we would just sit down and talk I think things might help but I really don't ever see that happening soon for two reasons
-I am hated and she never calls to talk thing out
-I might be going to jail soon.
I can only pray about that last one.
I lift it only up to God to help me through this time of need!

Now on to other matters.......
Some of you know I have mental disorders that I deal with daily
but I did have them undercontrol but lost the ability to keep my
depression hiden any longer.
I do believe that God can heal my pain.
But what I get from people is this.......
Some what me to get on my meds and some tell me God can heal me from the
depression so I don't really need it because God can heal it on His time.
What do you think???

Now I am talking to my friend, the only friend I have that I can talk to anymore.
I am really greatful for Beth because she is the only person I can talk to that will have an open mind a bout things I tell her..........
Others my listen but they will only listen with their ears and not their mind!
With this I am out peace
-Aidey-