Introduction and 1st day

I am going to make this short for everybody so when you read about my first night you won’t be bored.
I am without housing right now because of issues I have been having so I am now back on the streets. But I am going to take this time to take you through a life of a homeless person…through their eyes and what they face on a daily basis. The challenge of getting food and the challenge of sleeping and the challenge of surviving this world, as to so many people don’t understand the homeless.
I will take this time now to explain the homeless.
People ask this question all the time…..why are they homeless??
Why don’t they get a job?
Well these can be answered…… a lot of homeless people have criminal background which is hard to find work because of it and some suffer from mental illness which it is hard to hold down a job.
Then I get asked well why don’t they just ask for help…….
Easily answered the way some places treat the homeless is not with the kindness God wants them too. So they don’t look back.
And
No matter how tough the homeless look the truth of it is that they are scared and they are weak maybe not physically but spiritually they are.
They start to lose hope after days with either no food or no real place to sleep or maybe even both!
Maybe taking you through this will open our eyes as Christians and take that stand. Instead of passing the people on the street and ignoring them maybe STOP and ask for their story. We are not perfect and some are just down on their luck!
And I am going to leave you with this thought
We are all the same! Nobody is higher than anybody no matter what their title! WE ARE ALL SINNERS!!!

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Day one of a night without a place for rest was not too bad. I was invited to a party last night and I was upset with personal issues I have going on and I was tempted to go and drink and have a fun time. I also thought well this is a place to crash for the night but I didn’t know if I could resist the temptation of drinking and I have done so good to turn back now. It came to a point in the night where I had to make a decition if I was going to have to find a place somewhere I am not supposta or go to the party. I decided I would go to the party. Little did I know that the party was at a bar in town( I am a saved recovering alcoholic). I was getting nervus as we were heading up there but they told me that they would not let me drink but come on…..stop me…yeah right!! A friends band was playing and we were jamming for a little bit when I was asked if I wanted a drink. Know that I used to come to this bar everyday for about 3 months and hustle men for drinks and sleep with them for a place to sleep at night and food to eat. I had several fashbacks of things that had happened at the bar and decided that sober was the only way so rejected it. After a while I started getting a little paranoid(when I get nervus I attened to look in all direction continously)and wanted to leave. Well the band was not done until 1:30am so I took a step outside to get a little brake. I pulled out a cigarette(yes I caved in and bought a pack)and lit it so try and calm my nerus. As I took that first drag I could feel the painc go away a little. Why is it the things God hates calm me??? One day all of that will change though. Well as I was standing there 4 older men came out of the bar and one came really close to me(which I stepped back and was getting on guard)and asked “what is a beautiful young lady like you doing at the bar by yourself?” I told him that I was with the band. He then walked off with his buddies and screamed back at me that he would be back and we will have drinks. In my head I was saying YEAH HOW ABOUT NOT!!
I stepped back inside and saw an ex girlfriend of mine from my unsaved life and was more worried(FYI I am not supposta be around her due to an assult charge that I have that I did not do….long story…lets just say love make people do dumb things). I turned toward my friend and she said just to stay near her so I didn’t get introuble. I was there before her….well in the front that is so I don’t think I could get introuble. I was not drinking but she was very drunk. Just keep her in mind with prayer that she comes to realize that drinking only gets you nowhere! I watch her for a little bit and she was yelling and screaming at everybody and I wanted to go over there and calm her down because I know how too but I also didn’t want to get hit while she was having one of her violent rages(she may be small but when she is drunk she can hit hard). She finally sat down and took a drink of what she was drinking….usually bud light draft. I turned to my friend and was about to ask her a question when some person had put a hand on my back which caused me jump and throw up my fist(a lot of homeless people are attacked so it is just natural)ready to defend. He stepped back and told me he ment no harm that he just saw me and thought I was pretty and that he just wanted to know my name and wanted to know if he could get me a drink. I told him my name but rejected the drink because what I have learned is that a lot of men that want to buy me drinks what to take me home. He left kinda mad because I didn’t really want to talk to him because he was drunk. After he left I took off to the bathrooms and found my ex in there talking to herself. I felt kinda bad so I said hi to her. She looked up and she gave a glance at me and was like “OMGOSH you look so different.” She was real huggy kissy and I felt a little weird but I gave her a hug and listened to her story. She will be losing her house and she just gave her dogs up(her dogs are like her kids…..she never had kids and probably will never) so like I said on here earlier keep her in your prayers. I asked her where she was going to go and she would not let me know. I just pray that she can get some help. Being unstable myself I can’t help to much other than to be there to talk too and pray. She hugged me for what seemed an hour before she let go and reminded me about that night I was picked up for an assult wow……that happened over a year ago and it was not even me but I heard all about it right there. We started to walk out of the bathroom and back into the bar area when a guy bumped right into me(he was a little confused about which bathroom was the girls and the boys). The then told me that I was pretty and asked if I wanted to help him go to the bathroom……and again…..YEAH HOW ABOUT NOT!!! My ex and I came out of the bar area and she asked if she could get me a drink….I told her no that I didn’t drink anymore(9 months) and she at first thought I was lying but the bartender told her that I had been drinking diet pepsi’s. I then told her that when I decided too accept Christ in my life I stopped living that way. She then hugged me again.
I don’t think I have ever been up to that bar and actually stayed sober but the more I watched around the more my heart broke. About a year ago I was acting just like the people in the bar crazy, out of control and broken. Wow to notice that I have changed that much makes me feel pretty good. With the band playing it got to loud in the front so I took myself to the back where there were a lot of people(If you know me at all you know I hate being around a lot of people). I found a set in the cornor when I could keep my eyes peeled out. Just my luck to guys come and sit right next to me on each side(talk about feel odd). One was a guy I ment about a year ago but he drank his memory of me away because I sat there for about 15 minutes trying to explain to him who I was. The other guys kept asking me for my name and then telling me that that was his nephews name and that his neice was just born today and that took place about 7 times. I finally got tired of it and moved but before I could totally move they wanted a hug so I hurried and hugged them and then tried to leave but of course they had to get another thing in….guess what was said…..”what is your name?”
I finally got into the other room and the band was playing their last song so that ment we could leave soon. YAY. About 2am the band decided that they was going to treat everybody to Denny’s, not that I was not hungry(I was starving) but I was so tired I just wanted to lay down. I ended up being the driver because everybody else was drunk. Now going to a restraunt with a bunch of drunk people was very intresting. Praise the LORD we were the only ones there!!!! Things got very loud! I got this meal that was very large and I didn’t even eat half of it. I took the rest to go! We finally was done there and I was driving everybody back to the house when one of the people in the band said that there was a party going on at the house…..great…..more loudness! I sat on the couch and watched everybody get even more drunk. I was scared to go to sleep because this guy started hitting on me so I decided to stay awake until everybody passed out. So about 5am everybody passed out and that was my time to get some sleep. I had a dream that I was running down a long dirt road and something was chasing me but I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from but I knew it was bad. As I was running a van pulled up next to me and a big bang come from the van and I woke up with a very violent jolt. I looked at my phone and saw it was only 7:32am. Everybody was still passed out everywhere on the floor. I got my things around and took off out the door. Now I am sitting here at a house warming party hearing people talk about things that have happened in the past couple days. To listen talking I have really come to notice the change in me even if others don’t see the difference. These are the people I need to surround my life with because they can offer the love that God want people to share. I need to learn from all this. To love other like that, too have patience, too have peace with life and too just let God take care of me and not try too do everything for myself. I am so use to defending myself but it is now Gods turn to do that for me! Going to the bar and not having that drink was all God’s power He gave me to defend it off! Boy I love my GOD!!!!!!!!!