Day2

Well last night well pretty active. I was at a friends house last night and it was about 7pm when she told me that she was going to bed and that I needed to leave. I begged her to let me stay for a little bit longer and told me I had to 10pm and then I would need to take off. I was happy with that. So about ten til 8pm the police showed up at the house so I took off out the window because I had no idea what was going on and didn’t want to stay. It was cold outside and all I had on was a spegette strap and a thin jacket because earlier someone spilled their beer on my clothes and that is that last thing I need to go around smelling like. I was were some clothes of my friends daughters. I walked around for a little bit when a lady text and asked if I would like something to eat. At first I was like no but then I noticed that I really was hungry so I told her yes and she told me that it would be about an hour. So now I had to find something to do for this hour wait. I found a spot and put my bag down and sat down. I sat there wondering what my next step was going to be into finding a home…..wow…..home…..I would love one of them. I am not going to give up on my faith or my God!!!! I have to keep remembering when I feel like alone and nobody is there to love me that God does and this is his promise! I have to have patience(to handle pain or difficult times calmly and with out complaining) and to keep stepping forward and know that God is always there right next to me.

Roman 6:6 We know that our old life died with Christ on the cross so that our sinful selves would have no power over us and we would not be slaves to sin.

I read this verse and loved it. It keeps reminding me that I AM NOT A SLAVE TO SIN ANYMORE!!!!
Sitting there reading my Bible the word spoke to me in so many different way and when I turned over to 1 Corinthians it talks about love and how love is everything and with out love I am nothing and have God in my life I do have love! That is what is keeping me going through rough times!

Love is……
Patient
Kind
Not jealous
Does not brag
Not proud
Not rude
Not selfish
And the list goes on and there is 3 things that will continue forever and they are
FAITH-HOPE-LOVE
Love is the greatest!

Reading through this was awesome and lit up my eyes about just how much I am loved.
I started to pray and ask God for forgivness and asking to recomment my life to Him and start by living His way fully and not just for what I can get.

When I was done praying I looked at my phone and saw it was about 9:30pm and noticed that this person never texted back and maybe it was aa good thing because then I would not have had that time to myself with God! I got up and grabbed my things and stared on walking! I was looking for a place to rest my head because I was getting a little tired. I started cutting through year and come upon a broken window to an empty motel room. I was nervus at first but then looked around and saw that there was nobody around and when up to the window to see how broken it was and if I could get into there without being noticed!

I got to the window and saw that I could lift it up and take it off so that with the fear running through me because at any moment I could get arrested and go to jail for braking into the room! I started lifting up the window and came a very loud noise to I took off running and hid behind a bush fear somebody would come to look but nobody came after 15 minutes to I went back up to the window and took it off completely. I tossed my things inside and jumped up and literally fell into the room! It hurt a little but nothing I couldn’t handle. I found that the room was a work in progress and there was no beds but there was a blanket in the corner so I grabbed it and through and took it to the corner that I would be sleeping at and that would be near the window just in case I needed to excape fast.

I looked around the room to see everything that was around and it was a bunch or paint and brushes along with debre that had fallen from the wall. I cuddled up to the corner and got my laptop out to see if I got a commetion but there was none so I watched a movie that I had took for my friends house! But I had to keep it down so I would not get caught. As I was watching the movie I kept feeling down like I would never have a home. I opened my Bible and turned to Hebrew and read

Hebrews 11:1-3 Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing something is real even if we do not see it.
Faith is the reason we remember great people who lived in the past.
It is by faith we understand that the whole world was made by God’s command so what we see was made by something that cannot be seen.

Wow….yes faith is strong and in me I need more of it to have the faith that God can help me because if He helped me at that bar yes God can help me find a home! I started to pray and asked God for stronger faith and knowing that He can do it all!!! As I was pray to Him I felt something rub across my back. I turned fast and grabbed my phone to see what it was and found that it was a mouse. Now bugs(spiders, beatles, exc) do not scare me but mice yes they make me a little jumpy. I tried to brush it away with a paint brush and then saw that it was staring right at me from where I brushed it so I stared at it back. Now looking at a mouse this might be sad but I am kinda like that mouse just looking for food, housing and warmth!!!

I had a little snack in my bag so I pulled out my bread with butter and put some on the floor and went back to my movie. After the movie was over I was still up so I watched it over again. I finally dozed off and had the same dream as the night before…..running down that dirt road. I woke up once again with a jolt and looked around to noticed that I was not on that dirt road but that I was still in that motel room. I went to stand and felt a sharp pain going up my leg. It was so cold in that room that while I was sleeping my legs became so cold I could not even feel my feet and the sharp pain I am guess that it was from maybe sleeping on them wrong. My face was freezing and my nose was so cold I thought it was going to come off with a little touch! I looked at my phone and noticed that I was only asleep for an hour and it was only 2:21am. I tried to go back to sleep but for some reason I just could not go back to sleep so I took my laptop and tried to turn it back on but it had died completely so I rummaged through my bag and found my charger and plugged it in and started typing a letter to my mother. Me and my mother do not have a very good relationship but we are working on it. I started to type about how much I loved her and that I wish we could just have a normal mother daughter relation and that maybe next time I come to Bryan we could do something together and just talk.

I spent an hour on it and saved it now I was wonder how I was going to print it out and send it. I shut my laptop and sat there.

When it 6am I got packed up and snuck back out the window. I was so tired walking and I felt like my bag was a hundred pounds walking down the road. When I finally came across a place to sit I took it! I must have sat there and started into space for about an hour when my phone went off but I was just to tired and decided not to answer it. I finally got up and walked over to a friends house and begged her to let my take a nap there. She must have know I was tired because she didn’t hesitate to let me in the house. I went to the room and slept for an hour and a half with no dreams. When I did wake up it was because I was getting pushed away to get and jump out the window because somebody was there and I was not supposta be there. So I got up and grabbed my bag and jumped back out another window! I can honestly be a perfessional window jumper! Haha!

About 10 minutes later she called me and told me I could come back. I was still a little tired but I didn’t want to back to sleep. I sat there wondering about how church went. I wanted to go but I was scared because of personal things and me and rejection don’t pass very good. As the day went on I was talking to a person and told me that I should come to group. I was to nurvus and didn’t know if I wanted to go because of some people that would be there too.

Then I decided that I would go and called around and found a ride……………..
I am going to end on that for today!
But I am going to leave you with this

Psalms 18:1-2
I love You LORD You are my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my protection, my Savior
My God is my rock. I can run to Him for safety. He is my shield and my saving strength my defender.