Pills: I take 7 different pills each day for what well I am a pretty sick person but not pysically more like mental. I am crazy but I think thats why God loves me so much! Now taking pills everyday comes with great responsibility to be incharge enough to take them everyday.
Im so not perfect and yes sometimes I do forget to take them because it really does slip my mind and sometimes I just dont feel like take them but thats a choice but we will get to that in a few. There are ups and downs to taking meds. It makes you feel good and then you got the side effects yuck! Is it ok to get addicted to your everyday pills? I know this is how feel when I dont take them
In my mind getting off them makes we think it will be like this
FREE! Does it make sence??? God said bacially we shouldnt take mind altering things.....would my mental pills be a part of that because it does alter my mind.....so would drinking and getting high be the same with getting addicted to your everyday pills? Thats something to think about on to the next......
Promises: What is a promise???? a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc. So I have made some promises to no drink, take my meds, no sugar daddys and that I will not text people saying I wana cut. Sound resonable.....if only people knew. Well let me tell you something that is wrong with this....I promised. If you read James 5:12 it says "My brothers and sisters above all DO NOT use an oath when you make a promise. Dont use the name heaven earth or anything else to prove what you say. When you mean yes say only yes and when you say no say only no so you will not be judged guilty." (NCV)
I am guilty because I made promises that I couldnt keep. In my mind I would have kept them at that one time but we got to keep remembering WE ARE NOT PERFECT AND WILL NEVER BE TIL WE ARE HOME WITH GOD! It was not even fair of me to promise anything because we NEVER know only God does!
Friends: This is a hard topic for me. For me its hard for me to make friends. Let me explain to you about me......I am so use to being alone that I dont know how to be a good friend....now thats not an excuse its the truth! I grow up with mental illnesses that really kept everybody away. I never stayed on my meds and never did I ever feel like dealing with it. It wasnt til I came to South Carolina where I started trying.
To all my friends I write this:
Its been a trip...longer for some people. I know I have my ups and downs but just keep walking with me I am almost there. I may fall and there is God to pick me up to keep going but I need you to keep encouraging. I am dealing with me just as much as you are and just dont give up because I need you. I will do wrong but dont handing me a bag of conciquences because thats Gods job. I would never ask you to forget me being mean but please forgive me because I really dont want to be mean but that also comes with choices which we will get to next. IM TRYING SO HARD! Please dont just look at the bad moment open your mind and remember the first time you met me....now look at me....am i worse or better? One bad moment please dont use it against me. I love all of you and remember that I still learning what having friends is all about because back in Ohio I never had friends. Love Aidey
Soon we will be like this
Choices: This is a big one...Choices! Everyday we make choices all day everyday! Sometimes we make good choices but sometimes we make bad choices. The thing about choices is that eventually we are going to make a bad one because we are not perfect. When I choose not to take my pills I am more than likely making a bad one. When I choose to be mean I am also making a bad one. Ok so now that we know I make some bad choices lets turn it around...what are some good choices I make? I choose to believe in God, I choose to open the door for friends which it extreamly hard for me, I choose to shower which is a yay GOD! lol! Let me tell you a little story
I choose the last two nights no to take my pills ok so now I have made a bad choice and broken a promise to a friend. Ok so now i need to be punish....What are the punishments for this well lets look at this...I made a friend mad and now she dont trust me and she probably wont let me back at her house, I feel like i could just go cut, I cry because Im so frusterated that I feel like nobody wants to even see i am trying. NOT A GOOD DAY! So it was a bad choice but its a lessoned learned! Should I be condemed to hell for this bad choice....probably....I hope God sees mercy and grace. Mercy is not getting something we deserve and grace is getting something we dont deserve....God chooses to give us mercy and grace....Thank you God. So I am going to leaving with this one request...........look back on that last couple of days and see what God has chosen to give you mercy and grace on and then just Thank Him!
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