Random thoughts

Recentley I had a friend that told me that
I needed to get well or it was done.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get better
you know what I mean?
Addictions are so strong
after watching my brother go down hill
now I am there.
The other day I drug a razor across my arm.....you may ask did
it make me feel better
No it didnt just reasured me that I was still alive.
Life is nothing to mess with
Death is scary
So why do I tickling death in the face?
If you dont care about what I say
Aww well but leave with this........
Enjoy people while they last.....after all nobody is perfect

Good Bye

Today has been filled with tears that ran down
off my face and into my hands
I looked in the mirror and saw that they
were real and not fake.
These tears were not of blood
like before but they were clear.
To the person I have hurt makes life hard living for
and the only thing I can think of is to say
soory I wont make you worry anymore
I will get help I promise
Please just dont leave
This is my wish
......MAKE THE PAIN STOP.......
My finally good bye is now

Wonderful

Life is great.....Pam your awesome and a great friend. I know I messed up a lot but I am glad that your in my life to bring me back to where I need to be. I want you to know that I will never be done with you EVER!

Lately Ive come to realize that no all people are who they seem
I met a lady who seem be so togethere and with it
seems to be more in her box then outside the box.
But she came to befriend another lady that has
nothing together or nothing going for her in life(Me)
I have burnt a lot of bridges and lost a lot of friends
but since I met this lady she has decided not to run.
In time she may get tired but something about her
just lets me know shes no going to go.
Like others in my life have promised to stay but then
leave she has this promise in her voice that reassures
me she wont. I walk on eggshells thinking I could do
something dumb and lose the friendship we have.
Ive had friends that has helped but she is different
then the others. I know I am just going on but I am
just amazed.....she calls me and I call her.
I find myself trying to stay incontacted with others
but when its just on me it is hard and I feel stupid
or when they call and say nothing and I do all the talking.
With her it is different.....she talks back and she calls me
not just me calling her. She dont get upset when I decided
Im not going to go where she attends.

Shes different

Mary

Grandmother I love you and miss you with so much pain it is unreal that somebody could feel this.
I will never get that day you went to God
As you layed there on your bed with all your
loved ones surround you. I remember how you called
out for your mother just as would any child how was in pain
and scared.
I could hold it but to cry because now I am scared and in pain
but I know I will get through this even with you away
for a short period of time.

B.A.C.O.N

B.A.C.O.N
Being Awesomly Connected On Now

Come on we all could use B.A.C.O.N

Let me tell you my plans for the year of 2010

-I am starting a trash pick up that I do every Thursday and anybody is welcome to join:)
I feel like God wants up to care for the earth HE created!

-I am starting a Bible Study in Bryan May 1, 2010. I will be every other Saturday at 1 pm.
Anybody that wants to come is more than welcome to come:)

-I Stated a Care Package that would help people in need!
If anybody who know somebody that needs one please let me know:)

-I would like to start another Bible Study for the people I call my people.
Anybody that is more comforable around somebody with a complex life:)

-I would like to go more out in the community and now I will call it day of prayer.
I will go out and pray for people.

-I also plan to help with the Garden Program too

These are my plans as of right now.
Please Lord help me help others

The Bruses

When you look back at your life what do you see?

Be honest with yourself.

Look past what you usually do.

I will tell you want I see in me

I am so scared of the truth

but I am so tired of the lies

I don't like people

but I despartly want friends

I feel like there is nobody to talk to

but I have 162 contacts in my phone.

I feel so alone

but I have God in my life

I want to touch the world with Gods Word

but I don't want to step foot out of the house.

This is what I see when I look deep............

Can anybody relate?

Now I know what people mean when they say "We all are just human!"

Thats right we all are human and no matter what I say

I am pretty happy that God made me imperfect

I was looking around me(I am at Panera's) as it was packed with people and realized that I was not in a panic. But then God said look deeper.

I looked around and saw pain even in the brightest eye.

That I am not the only one that feel this way when I feel.....

I may never get married but I will say

"I DO"

To one man